Film Review : Crimes of Grindelwald

23 September 2019


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Hello Readers & Friends,

An unfortunate rant today. I know I'm behind the times but I have to write a reveiw about Crimes of Grindelwald. I started it last night and had to switch it off, it was an atrocity.
I have read up on what happens at the end and it hasn't changed my mind at all, so here are all the things wrong with the film in my opinion. How they dare to drag it out 3 more films is beyond me.

1. J.K Rowling standing behind Depp after the news he beat his wife is not okay. But aside from this, let's delve into the film..

2. The last film ended with a long emotional scene involving heavy rain and an Obliviate spell, which saw fan-favourite Jacob forgetting his whole magical experience and continuing life as a muggle/nomaj. CoG opened with him announcing his return because 'Obliviate only works on bad memories.' Sorry? This wasn't a thing when Hermione erased herselves from her parents lives? Or Lockhart Obliviated everyone whose stories he stole? Didn't the ministry Obliviate the entire city in the last film to cover up the magic? If so, aren't they worried that everyone else will suddenly remember everything? More to the point, if they are going to disregard the rules of magic so vehmently, at least do it for a reason. The hour and a half I watched Jacob brought exactly 0 to the plotline or story, aside from a little bit of comic relief.

3. Nagini. Again, the introduction of Nagini as a woman who is cursed to turn into a snake provided the plotline with absolutely nothing. She added no layers to the story, and just followed Credence around miserably. She was probably put in to offer some diversity to the cast, and to add in some 'shock factor' because nobody knew Nagini used to be a woman. The whole film was littered with these 'shocking reveals' that led nowhere and added nothing to the story, merely blurring the main plotline until it was, in my opinion, barely visible at all.

4. Why the hell is McGonagal given a random, pointless cameo? She wasn't even supposed to be born until 30 years after this film is set! Stupid mistake made, again, for no reason.

5. Character goals are non-existant. Credence goal = find his family tree. Fine, makes sense. Grindelwald goal = get everybody to follow his Hitler-like ideologies. Everyone else? Who knows. I don't.

6. Why is Newt, a random, awkward animal lover approached to be an aura / chosen to go after Credence? I still don't understand what the point of him is or how he ties into anything other than being a quirky character. He is entirely carried by the plot.

7. Albus Dumbledore's mum was dead when Credence was supposedly born, and his dad was in Azkaban. So not sure how the big plot twist fits in with any of the previous potter timelines. Maybe it's a lie to be revealed in film 3, I don't know and at this point I don't care either.

8. The Hogwarts robes were blue. This irked me an unexplicable amount.



9. Newt's brother literally turned up out of nowhere, with no introduction and barely any mention of him before. In fact, a ton of characters did this, and added nothing to anything.

10. Unexplained magic. For example, when Newt turns up in France and does this weird gold circle thing in public without anyone noticing and it's never explained what magic this is or how it works. If this is a thing that can be done to find people, why has it never been used in any of the previous films/books? Would have come in handy on several occasions. Like tracking Voldemort.

11. I'll be damned if I don't see a Dumbledore/Grindelwald kiss at some point to make this the LGBT-friendly franchise it was forced to become from the moment Rowling decided to announce that Dumbledore was gay.

12. None of Queenie's character developement made sense.

13. I thought Credence died in the last film? I mean, obviously not, but I want to know what happened in this 9 month space between him nearly-dying and ending up in a circus. Instead we're thrown in to work it out ourselves with no explanation or flashbacks.

14. Another mention of characters for no reason, but what was the point of Leta Lestrange? What did she bring to the story?

15. Same with Yusuf to be honest.


To conclude, this film was a jumble of red herrings, unecessary family history lessons (that often contradicted previous information), new and pointless characters with unecessary subplots and main characters with no clear goals.

Ultimately, this is a franchise milking a strong fanbase for it's money and disregarding the fact that a fanbase this strong will be able to pick out all these thoughtless inconsistencies. It was terrible from start to halfway, and I will not be investing another hour of my life to finish it. The true crime of Grindelwald was that it was allowed to exist.

Love,
C x

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